


So It All Started Like This ...

by WhirlyBird70



Series: let the endless dream guide your restless spirit [9]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Betting, Celiac Law, Garp supports his feral grandsons, Gen, Humor, POV Outsider, Paintball, Tama is luffs little sister and they watch movies together okay, Zoro's jaw strength, giant den den mushis, idk what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhirlyBird70/pseuds/WhirlyBird70
Summary: A Drabble Collection for One Piece featuring SALT siblings, Ace's potty mouth, seals who are not seals, and the general craziness that comes with sailing on the Grand Line. Enjoy!-Written for an ask game on tumblr, in which people give the first sentence of a drabble, and I finish it!
Series: let the endless dream guide your restless spirit [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605946
Comments: 16
Kudos: 136





	1. Footloose at 4am

**Author's Note:**

> For legendaryjarcollection who prompted “Why are you watching Footloose at 4 am?”

“Why are you watching Footloose at _4 am?”_ Ace demands from the doorway, omitting a _very_ obvious curse in the middle of his sentence when he spots Tama at Luffy’s side.

Sabo appears next to him, wiping sleep from his face. “Lu? Tama? What’s going on?”

On Luffy’s right is a pile of snacks and on his left is Tama buried sleepily in his side. Both are under a huge blanket, and before them is Luffy’s laptop, softly echoing the lyrics to _Holding Out For a Hero._

“We hadn’t seen it before, and we hadn’t seen Princess Bride or Grease or whatever, and the best time to watch movies is _obviously_ right now!” Luffy bubbles brightly as if staying up till four isn’t a reason to be tired

Sabo and Ace sigh, share a look, and plop down to join him, shifting a sleeping Tama to the side.

Because, y’know, He isn’t _wrong_.


	2. "Go, I'll cover for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For oceanaromantic who requested "Go, I'll cover for you,"!

"Go, I'll cover for you,” Sanji says to Zoro as they both duck under the flipped table.

Zoro gives him a doubtful eye. “If you don’t come back…” _It’s only going to be me out here, on this battlefield._

They both glance to where Luffy is lying, covered in red, to their right. His eyes are closed, and his hat lies over his face. A new wave of projectiles flies overhead, and their eyes flick back to the battle.

“I’ll be fine, _go!”_ Sanji shoves Zoro out of the cover and leaps out himself. In seconds, he is mowed down by a volley from their enemies.

No matter – his sacrifice won’t be in vain. Zoro dodges out of the way of a new volley and –

_SPLAT!_

Red.

“GODDAMNIT MOSS HEAD YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE JOB!”

Zoro wipes the paint from his face as Luffy laughs in the corner. Their enemies – everyone in their crew besides the infamous monster trio, laugh as well.

“SHUT UP SHIT COOK! YOU TRY IT! THEY HAVE USOPP!”

Because of course – who could a paint battle and _win_ when the Pirate King’s Sniper was on the other side?

They were doomed when Luffy got all the paint on him during the first _second._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you tell I was in the mood for silly stuff? 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)


	3. Place All My Bets On Zoro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Heraldofsong who prompted "Place all my bets on zoro!"

“Place all my bets on Zoro.” The redhead next to him says.

“What?” Danny’s been working at this bar for twenty years, and this is the first time someone has _ever_ gone against Big Jerry in a metal biting contest. And this is the _Grand Line_.

“Oh? Do you not know his name? Fine, place all my bets on the dumbass swordsman. You heard me.” She says, more sternly this time. “Three thousand belli.”

Damn, this chick goes all in, doesn’t she? Rich pot tonight. “Alright miss,” Danny says aloud. “Name?”

“Nami.”

“Like the Straw hat chick? Might not want to take her name around these parts, half these men just came from a battle with them. Didn’t even go close to the ship before a stray projectile – they said something like a giant rock? – crashed onto their ship and near sank it. Want another name?” Danny’s heard the rumors – no one _wants_ to be caught impersonating the Straw Hats again.

“No, I think I’m good.” Nami says and turns back to the ‘battle’.

The premise is simple. After three good drinks of Danny’s homebrew ( _rancid_ stuff), contestants would try to bite through a giant piece of metal from the old marine wrecks around the area. Island tradition, started when some king with a metal jaw – Walrus? Was that his name? – came through and bit through a ship and a whole bunch of drunkards copied him and turned it into the week’s money changing program. Big Jerry, with fourteen metal teeth, has been the reigning champion for the past two years.

This green guy, one-eyed and half asleep, stands no chance.

Danny rings the bell, and the two start hammering away at the drinks. Big Jerry’s not wasting any time, but the swordsman seems to enjoy it. Huh. Weirdo.

Big Jerry’s downed his drink and picks up his slab of metal. It typically takes him three minutes of steady pressure to do it, so the band strikes up a beat in the corner. By minute one, the swordsman has finished his own drink and picked up the slap.

A smirk plays across his lip as cracks form in Big Jerry’s piece.

The swordsman places the metal between his teeth and smiles a feral grin.

_CRACK._

It doesn’t come from Big Jerry’s piece.

It’s the swordsman’s – Zoro, the barman recalls – and it has a nice clean crack running through it.

Big Jerry has been defeated, and is now staring in silent shock as the crowd goes _wild._ Nami collects the money from behind the bar while Danny _also_ stares in shock, the swordsman requesting three more bottles – “No, make it crates” of his homebrew.

It isn’t as the duo is walking out the door does he put it together.

_Redhead woman, a swordsman with three swords, one which he carries in his mouth and deals devasting blows –_

Shit. They were the _actual_ Straw Hat pirates.

_Bet on Zoro indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me pointing out the fact that zoro must have the jaw strength of a hippo and should be utilized more often. You think being able to hold off giants or whatever with a sword in his mouth doesn't mean anything? 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)


	4. FUCK!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Anon who requested "A: "Fuck!" / B: "Where the fuck did you hear that word?!""

"Fuck!"

"Where the fuck did you hear that word?!" Dadan screeches at Luffy, who picks his nose as he looks at her. He’s got bits of thorn in his hand from where he fell when playing, but he doesn’t look particularly bothered.

The dumb kid who stabs himself in the face probably doesn’t even register it beyond the initial pain.

By his side, Sabo and Ace give her deadpan looks.

“What do you mean, where the fuck did we hear that word?” Ace asks her, eyes brightly burning as usual.

“Yeah, what the fuck? We hang around bandits and pirates and thugs. What did’ya think was gonna happen?” Sabo, the brat, says looking to his brothers for affirmation.

“Makino’s the only one who teaches us manners anyway.” The first brat informs her.

“Makino says fuck too! She told me not to say it though, but pirates don’t listen to the rules!” Luffy finally has his finger out of his nose and flicks the resulting figure at Dadan.

She screeches.

“WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO TELL GARP THEN WHEN HE HEARS YOU THREE CURSINGA BOUT!?” Oh god, she’s going to have a damn heart attack, these _brats._ She wouldn’t give a shit, if not for _fucking_ -

“SO MY GRANDSONS ARE CURSING LIKE SAILORS, ARENT THEY?”

_Garp._

“Yeah, what about it. Fuck Off, Shitty Gramps.” Ace says, pipe ready but taking a step back. His brothers crouch near his side. It would be adorable how they scrunch up, Luffy in the back and his big brothers in the front if they all weren’t about to be killed by one marine hero.

Garp raises his fist and oh god – Dadan can see her life flashing before her eyes. Her first robbery, her first bandit raid, the first time Ace laughed at her and that time Luffy gave her a hug and Sabo gave her flowers and whiskey – damnit! When did she start caring about these brats?

Garp brings his fist down and –

Gives his grandsons a _big, tight, Goa Jungle level, **Bear Hug.**_

“FIRST STEP TO BEING A MARINE ALREADY, I’M SO PROUD! CURSING LIKE A SAILOR! FUTURE MARINES!”

Huh. Well, it could be worse. Dadan sneaks back inside to get a drink.

“SHUT UP SHITTY GRAMPS WE AREN’T GOING TO BE MARINES!”  
  
“YEAH, WE ARE GOING TO BE FREE!”

“IM GOING TO BE KING OF THE PIRATES.

 _Thwack._ The sounds of furious punching and fleeing.

 _There it is,_ Dadan thinks and goes to drink her headache away and get out the medkit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feral gremlin children who beat up people for fun curse. Grandpa who does the same but legally is proud. Bandit mom is tirely cursing. Happy family!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)


	5. Law's a Seal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Junemel who prompted "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people."
> 
> Law is tired

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.

Law has read countless books. He knows law (pun not intended, thank you very much,) the human body, countless way to kill a man and the best way to shine a coin to perfection. He _knows_ shit. He knows what ideologies he is going to follow.

And this particular phrase? Well, if Strawhat doesn’t stop touching his _fucking hat,_ Law is going to lose it and – enemy, friend, whatever the _fuck_ Strawhat is to him, - he’s going to _chuck Straw Hat off the fucking ship._ Fuck philosophy.

His crew says he says fuck more when he’s mad.

Law is _pissed_.

A rubber hand slaps his head. It is not gentle by _any_ means.

“Straw Hat.” He says, gripping Kikoku tighter. His knuckles whiten. Luffy laughs and takes no notice. “Stop. Touching. My. Hat.”

“But it's fluffy! Like a Seal! And I haven’t seen a seal before, but you said you were one, so now I have seen a seal, so I _have_ to pet it. You either fight, eat, or pet animals Torao, everyone knows this.” His neck is stretching so that he's looking at Law upside down, like _Law_ is the one without sense.

“I said I was a celiac –“

“A seal!”

“NO! It means I don’t like bread, how many times to I have to explain this?”“Huh?”

“UGH!” Law throws his hands up and tries a different approach. “Chopper-ya is an animal. Do you pet him? Or Eat him? Or Fight him?”

“No! Well I tried to eat him before I knew he could talk and was TOTALLY AWESOME~! And I fought him a little bit because fighting is fun, and I don’t pet him we cuddle! Do you pet Bepo?”

Law’s been outsmarted by a man who quite frankly has a rubber brain.

Fuck.

The rubber hand slaps again.

“STRAW HAT!”

“BUT SEAL!”

“THAT’S IT! _ROOM!_ ” Luffy is switched with a sea breeze blowing over the sea. Zoro, previously asleep next to him, is already overboard by the time Luffy hits the water with a splash.

Now time to _run_ before his head gets slapped _again._

_Dammnit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laws secretly a selkie but don't tell anyone.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For rio-means-river who prompted "This is why we follow Luffy"
> 
> Kidd's turn to be tired.

“This is why we follow Luffy.” the damn swordsman says, and the rest of the Straw Hat pirates have to right to look so smug at Kidd.

Just because the Straw Hat brat could pull miracles out of his ass like nothing didn’t mean he was better than Kidd!

“Didn’t want you anyway,” Kidd grumbles, sludging the muck off his metal shoulder and his coat.

The two crews had accidentally met up on an island on some obscure coastline in the Grand Line. He’s pretty sure it's not on any of the maps, judging by the Cat Burglar’s excitement, but that just means the Marines won’t find him.

(And, the island will be named after the _Kidd_ Pirates, thank you very much. Flaming Skull Vivienne had a nice ring to it, dontcha think?)

A perfect place to fight… if Straw Hat hadn’t _insisted_ on a barbecue party, his crew, save for the God and the Pet, having no objections. The redhead lady was too busy poking at the island for maps or whatever.

Kid flung metal and muck at Straw at, trying to provoke him but… well…

Straw Hat had flung muck right back, then had come the _giant-sized Den Den Mushi, ten times bigger than even the giant visual ones,_ which had risen out of the _fucking_ ground to destroy their little party.

And ran over the kid pirates, thankfully not heavy enough to kill, but fast enough to _cover_ them all with _muck._

Luffy had dragged his crew all out of the way, and stumbled upon the plant that the crew was using as shade that the Den Den wanted.

 _Fucking miracles,_ Kidd snorted as his crew got cleaned him, Killer getting a bucket for him to dump over him.

_Dumb Straw hats getting away scot-free, upping me in every way who the fuck do they think they are._

“Uh. Boss. Straw Hats an _emperor_.” Heat said. Shit, had he been thinking aloud?

 _“SHUT UP!_ ” He roared in lieu of confronting that issue. Kidd looked over to the other pirate crew.

The swordsman and cook were going at it, fire and demonic aura flying, the pet was now the height of the _den den mushi_ and talking to it, while the cyborg was accenting the God’s tale with his nipple lights. The skeleton was singing some tune and Nico Robin, was staring up at the den den mushi, eyes covered by sunglasses. What the hell was she thinking about?

He didn’t want them on his crew anyway, crazy bastards. Wait. Two, four, six, seven, the navigator was over there which means…

Shit – he had lost track of –

“SPIKY GUY!”

_Straw hat._

Kidd punches him out of reflex but the damn idiot bounces right back. That’s _it_.

“FIGHT ME DUMBASS!”

He’s not leaving this island without showing that _he’s_ the better pirate.

“OKAY!”

_Finally!_

_-_

Two hours later, Kidd’s been smacked into the dirt, and he’s still a 100% sure that he will never ever want to be near a Straw Hat pirate again.

“SPIKY GUY LETS BE FRIENDS!”

_FUCK._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhhh this one was fun but hard cause I haven't written Kidd before. Don't know how it turned out, but enjoy!
> 
> -Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)


	7. Torment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anon who requested "A group of first mates is called a Torment"

A group of first mates is called a Torment.

The guard certainly _feels_ tormented, so the name is pretty accurate. Which admiral managed to catch all three of the top supernovas first mates, because this guard (hence forth dubbed Andy) is going to have _words_ with him.

(Or maybe not.)

He is also going have words with the _warden_ for putting them all in the same cell aisle with the first mates from the Fire Tank Pirates _and_ the Hawkins pirates.

Andy is never going to know rest again.

“Uh, guys, Are we sure –“ the bear starts for the fifteenth time, only to be cut off by the Vito guy from the Fire Tanks.

“SHUT UP! We’re in the Impel Down Prison Barge! you dumbass! There’s no way anyone’s getting us!”

“How did you manage to get caught, anyway?” Faust (the first mate of the Hawkins pirates had been polite enough to introduce himself) asked, ignoring the trouble.

“Well, there was this old lady, right? And she had this drink, see, and she _ALSO_ had this sword, which I wanted to look at, only the old lady was actually that admiral chick, and I lost her but all the islands moved so I wound up here. Walls are Sea Stone, which I can’t cut yet, so I’m just waiting till Luffy pops up.” The swordsman, the only one entirely calm about this, says, before settling down for a nap.

“Kidd will be here before then.” The massacre soldier says, before turning to the guard. “But I intend on getting out before then.”

The swordsman’s eye pops open. “Aye? Well then – Guard guy, give me my swords.”

What.

_“What?”_ the guy – Zoro right? He’s from the straw hats, isn’t he? – must be kidding.

“You deaf or something? Give me my swords. There's a white one and two black ones, be careful with them or I’ll throw you overboard.”

“Can I have my blades as well?” Killer chimes in.

“You – you people are in _cells._ To _Impel Down_. You have no right to make demands! You can’t ask for weapons!” Andy wants a raise.

“So what? We’re gonna be out of there before then anyway, Luffy’s already broken out of – wait.” The Swordsman starts counting down under his breath. “Twenty jail cells? And he doesn’t take kindly to people leaving his crew. He’ll be back. This happens a lot.”

Andy feels like he’s being talked to as if he is a tiny child. Least Zoro’s calm.

“What, you getting lost?” Damnit Fire Tank guy. Maybe if Andy acts small they will ignore him.

“SHUT UP DAMN YOU!”

“Hey mink, can’t you electrocute us out of here?” Killer asks, mask looking between the polar bear and Faust.

“Oh. I can.” Bepo, (that’s the bears name right?) says and kicks the door’s mechanics. Faust blinks and does the same.

Andy is not getting a raise.

The two break the others out of their cells while Andy just meekly clings to his spear.

No raise at all.

Zoro claps him on his back on the way out. “Try piracy. It’s better than this.”

Andy thinks he rather go back to being farmer, thank you very much.

_A group of first mates is called a Torment,_ he thinks deliriously before he faints, _And I hav e been tormented indeed._

(At least it wasn’t the captains.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsuru was the one who captured all of them but Zoro really just walked in on his own cause he's just like that.
> 
> Enjoy! Last one for now!
> 
> \- Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being the shortest one and the only one which followed the 5 sentence limit lol. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Whirly
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://whirlybirdwhat.tumblr.com)


End file.
